Thursday, May 23, 2013

Day 3-(No Day 2 Post)

Busy, Busy, Busy! My last day of school was yesterday. I'm anxiously waiting for the final grades to post, so that I can submit for tuition reimbursement. A very nice perk of my company!

The weather has been rainy and gloomy. I really wanted to take my mountain bike for a spin. One nice thing about my ex-husband is that he entered tons of contests and was always getting free stuff. He won me a nice mountain bike from Marlboro a few years ago. It needed to be put together, and I just had a close friend of mine do just that. AND...I even got a cute little dog basket to take my yorkie on rides with me.

Andy and I are going camping in Wisconsin Dells this weekend. We aren't by any means traditional campers. We set up tent and sleep and shower at the state park only. When we aren't at the campground, we love to go shopping, sight seeing, miniature golf, go-karting, bowling, etc. Neither of us are big drinkers but we do, do TONS of walking on the strip. It's good times. It's also our year anniversary on Saturday :) Lots of fun to be had!

Yesterday evening, I went to see a movie with Andy's mom and sister. We have the cutest little "budget" theater in downtown Cedarburg called the Rivioli. Safe Harbor was playing. I cried at the end. I wanted to take a photo of the theater for my blog but it was so rainy out. I did, however, find a blogger that snapped some shots of the town and theater when he came to visit a few years back.

I'm not talking about food and eating habits until I return from my trip this weekend. I have been good the past couple of days, but I haven't been great!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Day 1

Hey everybody, I see I have some new followers, I'm honored.

I'm open and honest. No sense in pretending because at the end of the day, the only ones we are hurting our ourselves.

So, my morning started off kinda rough. The BF and I are having issues with the furbabies and their potty training. Andy is a workaholic. I'm talking he works 2 jobs plus side work about 16+ hours a day. He generally works 7 days a week. He doesn't need to work as much as he does, but he loves to spoil us. He does very well for himself. I have the best of everything. I do. We get along great because we make the most of our free time together and each have the space to be independent and do what we like to do. I have plenty of things to do to keep me busy while he works. At the same time, while he brings home the bacon, I keep up the house. With me working 36 hours a week and going to school part-time, and caring for 2 puppies with potty training issues, it has been a challenge balancing everything and keeping up with all of the housework. Bless all of your mommy hearts because I don't know how you manage!

Anyways, long story short we are working on finding a dog trainer for our "kids". My final exam for school is tomorrow and my time will free up again. I'm in the process of relocating to a closer hospital with better hours, and tomorrow will be house cleaning day. Once that's done, things will be back on track again. I just hate that sick feeling in the bottom of my stomach when I know he is upset.

Ok onto weightloss...

Has anyone ever noticed that when you put yourself on a "diet" that you end up with this enormously insane--I'm dying of starvation-- insatiable hunger?

Yeah. Me too.

Day 1 of my 100 pound weight loss challenge. (NOT a diet)
I'm hungry-ironically on most days, I generally don't even eat anything until early afternoon, but today, I'm starving and it wasn't even 9am yet.  I put on my cute work out clothes and hung up all the clothes that were hanging on my elliptical and put them away nicely in the closet. I thought about going on it for a little bit but changed my mind. I will exercise and be more active. I will. I will. I will!

So, I made myself a protein drink. Simple easy, whey protein powder, ice and water. I'm sipping on it and will have another one for lunch.  I have access to a fresh salad bar in my hospital cafeteria at work, so I plan on having that with some soup or something.

I'm still undecided about weight watchers. Here's the deal. Since I work for a hospital, as part of our health care insurance, we have to weigh in and have an HRA done. My labs and blood pressure are all normal but my BMI is above 30. If the BMI is above 30 we have a few options.
  •  lose 5% of weight on your own before October 1st
  • Join weight watchers for 12 weeks an attend 10/12 meetings. The company will reimburse 25% of the cost.
  • Do 3 months of meal replacements through nutrisystem. The company will reimburse 25% of the cost
  • Go through behavioral health counseling for 3 months.. 25% reimbursement again.
I'm like, seriously? I have a lap-band. I have met with nutritionists. I lost 150 pounds last year....doesn't that count for anything?

So, I weighed in during January at 269 pounds. I'm like 13 pounds on my own, I got this, Nooo problemo.  Little did I know I was going to gain another 15 pounds, now bringing me up to 28pounds to lose before October 1st or I have to pay an additional $50 per month in higher health insurance premiums. Ugh. So if I did the 12 weeks of weight watchers, it would end up costing me just over $100 out of my own pocket after reimbursements which is a lot cheaper than paying an extra $50 a month. And as long as you try one of the pay options, you automatically qualify for the reduced weight whether you lose the weight or not.

I'm just going to go back to blogging and logging for now and see how it goes. I am not doing an official starting weigh in until Tuesday next week. I'm going to be out of town all weekend with the BF celebrating our 1 year anniversary and while I don't plan on going nuts or anything, I don't want to restrict myself so heavily that I end up binging.  Well I would be lying if I didn't weigh in today. I was at 282.4 but Tuesday is going to be my official starting weight.

Have a great day everybody!

Monday, May 20, 2013


Ladies and Gents,

Welcome to my blog. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Megan and I'm 34 years old. I live in the cutest little touristy town in the heart of the Midwest called Cedarburg,WI . I live with my boyfriend, Andy and our babies--Little Bear and Little Buddy.

Quick synapse-bullet proof style
  • I am a nursing student. 
  • I work in a hospital as a Health Unit Coordinator (Ward Clerk) (Hospital  Unit Secretary).
  • I am fascinated by science
  • I have been obese my entire life-Also have PCOS/Hypothyroidism (Yay me!)
  • I have a younger sister named Ellen. 
  • My parents died when I was in my mid 20's.
  • Prior to my relationship with Andy, I was married for 1 week shy of 11 years.
  • Oh yeah, I am a self-proclaimed food addict! I love sugar/taste/texture of food and I find myself binging at times until I get that "STUFFED" feeling

I've been through some hard times, but I've been through some really great ones too.

In 2010, my heaviest weight tipped crushed the scales at 380 pounds. I am 5'10. I KNEW I had to do something to start living and stop existing.  In January 2011, I underwent Weight Loss Surgery and had a lap band installed. In a year's time, I lost almost 150 pounds. My lowest weight ever seen on a scale was 232 pounds. I am now bouncing around 280 pounds.

So, how do I feel about this? Mixed

I'm certainly  not happy that I regained 50 pounds of weight.

Factors why I gained 50 pounds: 

  • My job went from a fairly active job to strictly desk work
  • I was on Depo-provera for a year (gained 20 pounds on it the first month--and it also through my hormones completely out of whack)
  • I quit smoking
  • New love
  • I had my band loosened so that I no longer throw up
  • I love ice cream/chips/desserts
  • I don't exercise (but I didn't before either)

 When I was  newly banded, I was so determined not to fail that I relied heavily on my band to do all of the work. I rarely exercised. I smoked.I rarely ate, because I had my band so tight that I was throwing everything up. I would throw up sometimes 10 times a day for days on end. I was dropping weight left and right and fell in love with all the compliments I was getting. It is truly a miracle that my band did not slip or that I did not cause permanent damage to my body. I was tired, dizzy, and even fainted a few times from severe dehydration, but I didn't care. I would look at pictures of myself in the mirror and be in amazement of my "success." I knew my behavior was destructive, but I didn't care.

My marriage was awful. We were married so young and my ex husband and I had nothing in common anymore. We fought constantly and money was so tight that I really was okay with not eating much.  We split in 2011. I was on my own physically and supporting myself financially. I started dating and again loved the new found attention for the first time in my life. Unfortunately, at the time, I didn't know it was not the healthy attention. I was so lost and had such low self-esteem that I basically threw myself at any guy that gave me a second look.

About six months after I split with my husband, I met my current boyfriend. We have been together a year now and I can honestly say I have never been happier in my entire life. He loves me for me. Our relationship is based on profound respect for one another and we encourage one another to be our best. When I met Andy, I weighed 247 on our first date. I remember it clearly because I had gotten a fill that day. I had pre-warned him that I was a "cheap date" and didn't eat much. I remember sitting outside on the patio, barely getting down some soup. 

Andy was a string bean growing up. He is 6'2 and was barely 140 pounds in high school and was super athletic. After meeting him, I dropped another 15 pounds or so, but it was not in a healthy way. He soon helped me to see how stupid I was being by not eating. 

My band is normal now. I have some restriction but I do get hungry. I still have to watch it because if I put my mind to it, I can eat anything. I generally stay away from red meat, although I had my first hamburger in the past 2 years, just last week. I have no issues with PB'ing (throwing up) anymore.My lab work is normal. My cholesterol and blood pressure is normal. I sleep well. For the most part I eat healthy, but I have to watch my grazing and my junk food.

So even though I have a lap-band. It is not magic. I am proof that I didn't pull my part of the weight in my journey and now here I am trying to lose the last 100 in the sensible way, but during this go at it, I'm using my band as a tool to remind me to eat slowly and chew, chew, chew and make healthy choices. I am also leaning towards joining weight watchers for accountability and additional weight loss support. So that's my honest story and I would love to have you around for the ride!

Here are some pics :)

Me Pre-op Jan 2011 360 pounds right before surgery
Me May 2012 at 232 pounds--my lowest--a still shot from video-- Size 16w jeans

Me in March 2013 around 275 here

Jean size 34W to 18W

My love Andy, and I--May 2013

My 14 month old Yorkie--Little Bear (6 pounds)

My 4 month old Teddy Bear (shitzu/bichon) Little Buddy "Chubby Buddy"